Crushing Defeat
by Nici Bianca
Summary: After the battle against Paul at Lake Acuity, Ash changed completely. He no longer shows any emotions and starts to drift deeper into exasperation. There is nobody who can bring him back to life except ... - Pokeshipping - Rated T for language *sorry* - please R
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N): Hey guys! I´m back with my second story and this one is going to be a bit longer. Again I excuse me for my English. There are probably some mistakes in there (time and such things), but I´m from Germany and only 16 years old so my English is still not the best. Though I very much appreciate all reviews from you! It´ll help me a lot in my next chapters. Oh, and it´s going to be a Pokeshipping story (of course), but that not until the first chapter. **

**I think I´ve said everything. Now it´s up you if you like it or not. **

**All I´ve left to say is: Please R&R! ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don´t own Pokémon.**

**Crushing Defeat**

_**Chapter One**_

**Ash´s POV**

It was one of the most important battles.

A battle, me and my Pokémon trained months for, to finally beat _him_.

My biggest rival. Paul.

Standing there, with no more Pokémon to battle with, all exhausted with nothing more in my hands, I gave up.

_*Flashback*_

"Ursaring use Hammer Arm", Paul commented.

"Pikachu Volttackle!"

For a moment I thought I could still win this, but it was hopeless. Right from the beginning. Pikachu raced towards Ursaring, but it wasn´t fast enough. After Ursaring activated it´s Guts Ability, it was way stronger than before. Ursaring´s Hammer Arm and Pikachu´s Volttackle collided with full power and a huge explosion filled the surrounding area of Lake Acuity. I heard Pikachu crying out his name in pain, and in this moment something inside me cracked.

I lost. Completely.

Pikachu is thrown into Lake Acuity by the impact of Hammer Arm. Ursaring stands there, roaring in rage and throwing it´s arms around. But all I was focused of was Pikachu, who not directly appear at the surface. I ran into the water to look for my best friend. Finally I saw him, slowly drifting to the surface of the water.

_*End Flashback*_

Now, a fainted Pikachu in my arms, I stood at the riverside, wet clothes clinged onto my body, but I didn´t care. My brain switched to autopilot.

"I send you my Pokémon", I heard Paul saying to his older brother Reggie. I raised my head to look at him. He nodded to the referee as a thanks, then he turned to me.

For a moment we just stood there, watching the other for any sign to command the battle, what I usually do. But I wasn´t sure about my voice so I remained silent.

"Heh, so you have nothing to say to this so called ´battle´? Your pathetic as always, just like your Pokémon." At this I clenched my fists, but I didn´t made no move to say something.

"Hey!" I looked over to where my friends were standing and saw an angry Dawn taking a step in Paul´s direction. "Don´t you dare talk to Ash and his Pokémon in such a way! They put up a great battle and you should pay them much more respect, because they deserve it!"

Usually it makes me smile when my friends stand up for me. It´s a way to show that you can always count on them, no matter what.

But now it only deepened the crack inside of me, and it was almost painful to hear such words when I don´t deserve them.

"Stay out of my way, troublesome. Your as pathetic as he is."

Dawn started to say something, but was cut off by Reggie, who stepped between them.

"Paul. I think you have to go no, don´t you?" His voice was calm, but I could hear the suppressed anger behind it.

"Why do I even care?" With that Paul gave me one final glare before he turned around and walked away.

"Isn´t he going to the Pokémon Centre?", Brock asked.

"I´ll take care of them later, don´t worry", Reggie responded. He turned to me and gave me an encouraging nod. "Great battle, Ash. I hope we´ll see each other soon. Take care", and Reggie followed Paul into the setting sun.

I didn´t even recognize how late it had become. I looked down where Pikachu still laid unconscious in my arms. Without another look to my friends I turned on my heels and walked to the Pokémon Centre. Nurse Joy ran towards me as soon as she saw me. She must have noticed the look on my face, because she just took Pikachu carefully and I followed her to the recovering room with my other Pokémon. There I released all of them, so Nurse Joy could take care of them.

Before I reached the door I looked back at my exhausted team. Tears started to fill my eyes and I lowered my had, so no one would see them.

"Thank you all so much for this battle. I know you all gave it your best. Now you guys have a good rest, you deserve it." At the end my voice cracked and I opened the door.

"Pika … Pikachu .. ", I heard Pikachu saying, but I walked out of the room and onto the corridor, closing the door behind me.

The crack grew more and more.

Brock and Dawn waited for me outside the room.

"Hey man", Brock began as I stood in front of them. "Do you need something?" "No", was the responds and I shook my head. "Ok. But if you need anything, just call me or Dawn. We´ll be there for you." I nodded and whispered a small ´thanks´, then I went through the main door, outside, into the setting sun.

It would get colder, but I didn´t care. I walked onto a small hill that surrounded Lake Acuity and sat down.

I watched the sun disappear behind the mountains.

This was one of the most important battles. And I lost. I didn´t disappoint only myself, I could live with that, but most of all I disappointed my team. We trained so long and so hard and it was because of my damn bad battle strategy that we lost.

Suddenly I knew what began to broke inside of me. It was my will.

My will to be the world greatest Pokémon Master. My will to give it all and even more I got to achieve my dreams. My will to fight for the good inside of humans and Pokémon.

My will to fight for _me_ and my Pokémon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Crushing Defeat**

_**Chapter Two**_

_5 days later – **Ash´s POV**_

The time passed by. My friends and Pokémon were all worried about me, but I didn´t care. Why did I not care?

In the past I always thought first about the people around me, always wanted to help them, even though I sometimes just met them. But this crack inside of me was too present, too overwhelming, to just ignore it.

The days were always the same:

I woke up with the same solemn feeling in my chest, took a shower, got my clothes on, went to the breakfast buffet to eat something. The fact that I didn´t pitch the food into me was strange enough to confuse my friends, and to scare them. After "breakfast" I went out of the Poké Center and just sat on a small hill at Lake Acuity and stared at my environments, even though I didn´t really recognize anything. But most of the time I walked around the nearby forest that surrounds the lake, thinking about people I met, Pokémon I caught and battles I won.

Suddenly I stopped in my tracks. I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn´t realized where I was going.

I was at a small, but beautiful lake. The sun wasn´t shining though, but that didn´t made it less amazing. Some Water Pokémon were swimming and playing there, enjoying each others company.

Water Pokémon.

Something inside my head clicked and suddenly images flew through my mind.

_-Flash Back-_

I saw me, battling with Pikachu against a strong Rhydon. Pikachu´s attacks had no effect at all, so after some desperate tries the Rhydon defeated us. Usually, when I was defeated, I was sad, sure, but I stood up again and trained even harder. But this time I was so upset with myself that I ran of into the forest. I threw my fists against a tree, trying to blow off some steam. I felt the pain ache through my hands and arms but I ignored it. It was stupid to battle a ground-type with an electric-type, a mistake that just a fool would have made. In my rage I didn´t noticed that Misty had followed me, silently watching me with eyes full of concern. I was about to shot the next punch against the tree, but two strong but gentle hands held me back and I stopped in my tracks. I turned around to see who it was, but the next thing I knew was a hot pain running through my left cheek. Surprised I stumbled back and leaned myself against the tree I just punished. "... Ouch! What was that for!?" I saw up and looked into these cerulean eyes I like so much. I excepted to see anger rising in them and that I´m going to hear one of her lectures about my battle style, but the only thing she did was leaning her right hand against my left cheek, which became more red each second, and looking into my eyes with pure concern. "Sorry, but I had to do it. Otherwise you wouldn´t have listen to me." She took her hand away from my cheek, for what I was glad for, or she could´ve felt my cheeks got all warm from her touch. "I know you must be upset, but this is no way to act after your Pokémon did everything it could to win for you." I looked away, trying to hide my blush and in shame, because I know she was right. "Yeah, I know. I´m sorry." I looked up to meet her gaze. "You don´t have to apologize by me for your behavior. You have to apologize by Pikachu. It feels like he didsomething wrong, and you know how much Pikachu loves you and wants to make you proud and happy. So go and apologize!" She stemmed her right hand on her hip and her left arm pointed in the direction we came from. "Ok", I said and started walking. But then I stopped and turned around to face her again. I smiled a bit shy at her and said: "Misty? Thank you for following me and telling me that. I needed that." Without waiting for her commend I started running back to Pikachu and Brook, who were still standing where we left them.

_-End Flash Back-_

My head felt dizzy and I had to lean against one of the trees near the small lake. I felt like Misty had slapped me again, but now even harder.

As I sat there, watching the Water Pokémon playing, a cool breeze brushed my warm face. And then it hit me. _I missed Misty!_

But I didn´t just missed her like a good friend, like May, Max or Ritchie. I missed her much more. I missed her so much it almost felt like physical pain. And I realized another thing: I _needed_ Misty. I needed her to cheer me up when I felt down. I needed her to be with me when I felt alone. I even needed her to yell at me when I did something stupid just to remember me that I can always count on her to be there to help me.

Now was such a moment. My will was broken, and she was the only one who could help me fix it. To be my old self again, _with her_. But it was impossible to reach her. Sure I could phone her and ask for help, but it´s not the same like when she´s near me, beside me, so we could figure something out together. Misty´s in Cerulean City in Kanto, running the gym with her sisters, and I´m at Lake Acuity in Sinnoh, trying to gain all eight badges.

It´s impossible for her to come here, or for me to come to her. Our ways were separated a long time ago, never to come together again like it was once.

**Brock´s POV**

I turned around and watched Ash walking out of the Poké Center, again, like every day since his lost against Paul. We stayed at the center for five days now and didn´t know what to do with either Ash and ourselves.

"Brock?" "Yes, Dawn?" I must´ve sounded really tired, what I was. I stayed awake most of the night, thinking about Ash, his behavior and what we could do to help him. Ash ignored even Pikachu. Everyone´s concerned about him. And, since I´m like an older brother to all of them, I felt responsible for Ash, Dawn and the Pokémon. During the day I helped Nurse Joy with the injured Pokémon, since we weren´t planing on leaving anytime soon. "... So, what do you think about that?" "Mh? Oh, sorry. What did you say?" Dawn glared at me with knowing eyes, but they soon were filled with concern. "I said: Me and my Pokémon thought about a way so Ash will feel better. And, maybe, we could prepare a play to make him laugh. What do you think? And you should get some rest. You look exhausted", she said and smiled at me.

I thought about that. Dawn was really looking up to Ash as a teacher and good friend. Under normal circumstances I would´ve agreed, but I don´t think that would cheer him up now. He was too deep in his own ravine to just pull him out like this. It was a really sweet idea, and I was sure it would´ve been great to see, but the way Ash was acting, I wasn´t sure how he would´ve react. I didn´t want that he hurts Dawn´s feelings, even so he maybe didn´t really mean it.

"Dawn. Don´t get this wrong, I think it´s a great idea, but I really don´t know how Ash will react in his condition now. I never saw him acting like this for so long and so stark. Would it be ok if we wait a bit longer to see how this will go on and decide than what we´re going to do? The old Ash would´ve loved this for sure, but I don´t know about this Ash." I smiled at her with an apologetic smile. Dawn was strong, she would understand. "Oh. Yeah, of course. You´re right, I understand. But it makes me sick seeing him like this and don´t now what to do to help him. Isn´t there anything or anyone to cheer him up? To bring back is old happy and determined self? What have you and Pikachu done in the past when he was like this? You know him a lot better than me."

Pikachu´s ears perked up at the sound of his name. He looked at me and I could see that the little mouse Pokémon had something on his mind. Though I never could understand Pikachu´s language like Ash, I still understand some specific words. Pikachu nodded and said: "Pikachupi."

My eyes grew wide and Pikachu smiled, knowing that I understood. "Are you sure? But it´s impossible to bring her here. And I´m not sure that just talking on the videophone would change anything. It´s nothing special." "Pikachu. Pikapi pika, pika pi chu Pikachupi. Pika chu pika, pikachu!" I didn´t know for sure what he said, but I thought it was something like: _Misty´s the only one who can help Ash now. We have to find a way!_ "Ok. I know. I´ll talk to her and see what I can do." Pikachu nodded, determination in his eyes, and jumped from the table on my shoulder. "Wanna come with me, eh?" Pikachu nodded again and we made our way to the videophones.

"Eh … Guys? Hellooo! What was that all about?" "I´ll explain it to you later, Dawn."

I chose the videophone in the corner. Pikachu still on my shoulder, I dialed the number of the Cerulean City Gym.

"Hello? Cerulean City Gym, Misty´s speaking?" I smiled at how professional Misty sounded. She did a great job there.

"Pikachupi!"

"Pikachu? Is that you?" The screen went on and Misty, with wet hair, a towel around her shoulders and a huge smile on her face, appeared.

"Oh it´s so great to see you! And A-", she stopped and looked a bit confused at me. "Brock? Why is Pikachu on your shoulder? And where is Ash?"

"Hey, aren´t you happy to see me?", I said with a smile.

"Of course I am! But I didn´t expect to see you instead of Ash. How are you doing? Where are you guys now?"

"We´re at the Pokémon Center at Lake Acuity, and yes, we´re doing great, more or less."

"Oh, but that sounds not really convincing. What´s the matter? Are you feeling alright? You look tired."

"Me? Oh, yes I´m ok, but that´s not the problem. It´s about Ash." Pikachu´s ears went down and Misty´s smile slowly disappeared. I told her the whole story: Ash´s fierce battle against Paul, his loss and his behavior ever since. Misty listened carefully. When I finished, a frown had formed on her face.

"I see. But I don´t know how I could help you, especially when I´m stuck here in Kanto."

"Yes, I know. But Misty, you´re the only one who can help him now. We tried everything, me, Pikachu, Dawn, all his other Pokémon and even the Nurse Joy here. But nothing changed. He even got more angry. He eat´s less and wanders the whole day in the nearby forest or just sits on a hill at the lake. In the past you were always the one who cheered him up like no one else could. Remember his loss against the Rhydon? I don´t know what you told him back there, but it worked. I have no idea what happened between you two, but when you came back he acted like always. Do you understand? Now he acts just like there, but much worse."

Misty was silent for what feels like five minutes. Then she sighed, and it seems like she had hold her breath the entire time. "Brock, you know you two are my best friends, and I do everything for you, but I don´t know how I can get to you that fast. And besides that, I have a gym to run and you know my sisters."

"I see. Could I talk to Daisy for a sec if she´s around?" That seemed to surprise Misty a bit, but she nodded and got up from her chair, calling for Daisy. Pikachu looked at me and tilted his head to the side. "You´ll see", I said. After a minute or two Daisy appeared on the screen.

"Like, hey Brock. Nice to see you again. How is everyone?"

"Hey Daisy. Good to see you too. We´re fine, thanks. But I have to ask you a big favor."

"Like, what can I do for you?", she asked confused.

I told her the short version about Ash and came straight to the point. " Remember when Misty played the mermaid for your underwater ballet, and Team rocket showed up and we had to save the Pokémon? You said you owe us one. So I want to ask you if you could run the gym without Misty for ... let´s say three weeks or so. She´s the only one who can help him now. I wouldn´t ask you that if it wasn´t serious." I stopped and waited for an answer. First she said nothing, just looked at me. Then she suddenly stood up and said "wait a sec" and disappeared.

Ten minutes passed and nothing happened. Suddenly Misty appeared with the biggest grin I´ve ever saw. "Why are you smiling like crazy?" "Pika?", Pikachu asked from my shoulder.

"I´ll come!", Misty screamed. I couldn´t believe my ears. "What?", I asked. "I´m going to the Sinnoh region to help Ash you idiot!", Misty said and clapped her hands to her chest. "But there´s one problem. How do I get there as fast as possible?" I thought about that for a moment. The ship took 4 days to reach Sinnoh, there was no other way to make it there. None of us had any flying types who could made it. Except for …

"Misty? Do you know the number of the Characific Valley? I think I have an idea ...".

**(A/N): Hey everyone! I am soooo sorry that it took me that long to bring up the next chapter of my story! I had to wait for a new computer to begin writing again. But I hope you enjoyed reading it, the next chapter will be up sooner, promise. I know there are mistakes with the time, but I gave it my best, so again: sorry! **

**Thanks for reading it! Hope to see you next time! **

**R&R please!**

**- Nici-Bianca -**


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